The torturing statement “It’s unfair!” haunts many people’s minds as they walk into the classroom or the workplace, knowing what is soon to come. The bullies hold court and a daunting aura of power with the right words and actions. They cast a spell over their target’s inadequacies and the dynamics of peer-to-peer relationships.
Bullies are in the home as well. The game isn’t much different.
The target thinks he has nowhere to turn. He figures that to prove himself against the power of unkind words and win the respect of others is a long shot. He says to himself “I’m defective. This is why they make fun of me. This is why people post humiliating words about me on the internet. I’m not supposed to be respected.”
To even think of rising against the bully’s influence, is like trying to climb out of a deep, dark pit with slippery walls. If not intimidating, the effort looks pointless. Why would other people support the name-calling and rejection?
What is not yet pointed out for him is the difference between a bully’s words and true evidence. Words are temporary. Spoken words can reach people’s ears in the form of vibrations. Imagine not being able to hear the words “You’re stupid” or “You’re not good enough”. How much power would they have then?
In the meantime, the evidence for living beyond a bully’s influence lies in some concrete and hardcore expectations of authority in the schools, in homes and on the job. For example, no matter how much the feelings of rejection and insults sting, there is still the matter of standards to be met in each semester in elementary school. Children in the first grade have to complete a certain level of performance within the four and a half months before the big holiday break. Even at this young age, we have all had to prove self-sufficiency to move on to the second grade.
In each school day, the students have six to seven hours to stick to a schedule and get a standard of competency in the age-appropriate tasks and processes of learning.
Learning and discomforting emotions like anger or sadness don’t mix well. Either productive thinking or self-defeat will occupy and win a child’s mind.
There are sixty minutes in each hour. Each minute can be used to increase the level of progress on a task. Each minute is supposed to be taken advantage of towards the aim of learning and memorizing useful information. The classroom schedule made to allow for facilitation of optimal performance. Students get a chance to use this.
It’s either do the deed or risk the consequences. Only so much time is allowed per school day, week, and semester.
The same thing goes for people on a job of any kind. You have only so much time in the day to choose whether productivity or bullying is going to take control.
There will always be bullying. There will also be endless benefits for reaching out to get the right kind of support. Best efforts in school and work performance last longer than the emotional influence that ignorant people tend to cast.