It is natural for each of us to follow a script written by uncomfortable feelings and self-doubt.
For example: During confrontation, I run and hide or clam up.
It is an automated reaction or response that is fabricated by elaborate predictions on what might happen. The characters in this script can take on a million different scary, unpleasant or weird behaviors during an argument. And it all comes to play in vivid thought before anything physically happens.
I’m willing to bet that only human beings have this ability. It is a two-sided gift. On one hand, we are able to use our imagination to write stories in the mind. On the other hand, there is a big difference between life at the mercy of these stories and then the effort in taking ownership of the content.
The script can also be influenced by gratification. We are often dictated by a personal database of likes and desires, holding out for a taste of the familiar. This pertains to behaviors like pulling out the cellphone during a conversation or a ride in the elevator full of people.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of this.
However, anyone of us can read these scripts and see where there are personal costs in relying on the same old, automated responses.
For instance, can you imagine not hiding from confrontation? How would life feel? What is it like for you to hide?
Who in the elevator, or on the other side of the conversation could come up with a helpful bit of insight? How can you know?