EGO In The Driver’s Seat


sally (Photo credit: Laser Burners)

In The Jungle Pack Workbook, I describe EGO as a personal defense system.  But instead of proclaiming myself as an expert on the subject, I only have to ask the reader to refrain from the usual behavior which accompanies different situations at home, school or the workplace.  If you find routinely eating lunch with the same people day after day, go and ask someone else to share the opportunity.  Pay attention to how this feels.  If have a hard or slightly uncomfortable time with it, then EGO is trying to call the shots.  In reality, there is absolutely nothing wrong with eating lunch with someone else for a change.

The key phrase here is: I feel uncomfortable with change.  The reason for having feelings of discomfort and having the thought “Well I’m not gonna do that”, is because the mechanism for self-protection is initially based on self-fabricated stories.  EGO does not know the difference between what you think is happening and the physical reality.  The absurdity in obeying the feelings of discomfort is right before your very eyes when simple everyday tasks and interactions pose a disproportionate, emotional challenge.

EGO is the way our thinking manages to turn a benign event, personal behavior, or another person’s behavior (verbal or nonverbal) into a horrendous situation.  Any childish or super-critical reaction on your part comes from an irrational and distorted connection between thought and feeling.  I would invite you to recall the incident where an eight-year-old says “I hate you” to either or both Mom and Dad.  EGO is running the show when either parent takes this to heart and feels fear or anger.  What does the statement “I hate you” mean?  Does it mean that little Johnny or Sally is getting ready to sneak out the window and run away?  Or does it simply mean that the kid is reacting to a strong dislike?  Unless this young one has just escaped from your homemade torture chamber and is in danger of starving to death, then most likely, the “run away” fear is irrational.  The hardest part is really going to arrive when he or she has turned eighteen years old and has a death grip on the front door, not wanting to leave.


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