The Dynamic Shack Of Learning

There are great gifts in even the most dysfunctional systems of family, school and workplaces.  Every opportunity made to note on someone’s predictable nature is a momentary place of learning about how to work the environment.  The classroom, living room or office is your personal laboratory for practicing the art of diplomacy and advocating for the self.

If Uncle Ralph tends to scream and shout and even throw things when disagreed with, then you have a clear choice of how to act around him.  First, I urge you to check the benefits of trying to change Uncle Ralph’s mind.  Chances are this is a big waste of time and it hasn’t worked yet.  I’m willing to bet that it won’t happen soon.  How much more time to you want to spend on it?  If your answer is “No more”, then let us go ahead to look at the opposite of “disagree.”  What would happen if Uncle Ralph were permitted to believe in his own bullshit all the time, without a fight?  Who gave you the responsibility to make judgments on what he thinks anyway?  If Uncle Ralph is the paying tenant or head or household, then his decision to let 12-year-old Billy drink beer while watching cartoons is between him and law enforcement, not yours.

Diplomacy and self advocacy is reached by accepting the world will not end just because someone else wants to think differently.  It’s going to happen anyway.  The dysfunctional situations can be used to teach you about just how much time is wasted, on fretting the current moments.  We do have personal goals to master or at least be in the process of accomplishing.  These last longer than the style of living in a household which no one has to be part of forever.

On the subject of predictable behavior and ways of thinking, there is a common element to take along and cherish.  Whatever a person believes, happens to be the right thing in his or her own mind.  Their whole world is built around it.  Uncle Ralph is defensive towards those who disagree and he is preoccupied with protecting his beliefs and way of life.  The family member who enthusiastically belts out a “Right on Uncle Ralph” while discreetly dialing the number to a local child advocacy center, is more likely to stay off the radar and escape undue harassment.

 

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