The Cost of Avoiding The Process of Sadness

Grizzly Bear

Grizzly Bear (Photo credit: Scott_Calleja)

We make rules for what a person should cry about or express sadness over.  Few of us would have no problem at all with crying as a grizzly bear is slowly chewing some poor guy’s leg off.  How could you not cry?  Or, say a professional boxer is waylaying you in front of your girlfriend.  How many of us have the fortitude to withstand such punishment without at least whining about it?

So there are extreme measures for which the tears are okay to shed.  Otherwise, we are usually to grin and bear it through most other instances short of a close family (parent or child) death.  The rules for behavior and feelings are very powerful.  Social ranking and privilege is at stake.  The race for companionship is a sport which yields to a high criterion of the amount of baggage a potential mate is willing to accept and tolerate.  No one wants a crybaby.

With such pressure to maintain one’s feelings and the lack of education and influence of such, how can anyone keep from being confused between the difference between sadness and anger?  How long can a person hold back tears over a lost dog before the pressure turns into anger when a family member says “Oh screw the damn dog!”  There may have been the original occurrence of sadness to go ahead and feel.  What would be the cost to acknowledging it and then either figure out what to do or simply accept the loss?

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