Sexual desire and anything related to beliefs having to do with potential for sex, are often permitted to be the grand influence towards judgement in our relationships with others. Can I get an argument? The key word here is “often.” Look at the recent choices made and whatever is the sum of those choices are for the last year or so.
My position as a therapist is to help people explore current behavior and how this may connect to personal beliefs. The reason that a person may have a hard time with talking about sex, is the manner of control it takes on behavior. Sometimes we lose sight of our role in the everyday range of wants, needs and feelings. For example, a young man in his twenties is taking cues from everyone among peers and family members on how to act and live. There are most likely some members of his group who criticize the behavior of others. He’s busy with listening to what other people say and do and what’s cool and what is not.
Sexual desire has the character of encompassing a person’s senses, as do anger and other emotions. It can be like wearing a straitjacket. Unless he is fond of such a predicament, his first action to take may be to seek relief or at least find a way out of it. What the young man doesn’t see is his own ability to put things into perspective by writing down goals and priorities.
People who are not in the category of his sexual desire or preference, do have a role in the effort to get things done. Different people in our home, work, school and community environments have their own abilities and source of guidance. But the individual has to know what he wants and what steps to take.