A lot of people will try to pull the passive family members into different directions through the use of guilt and shame messages. I work with children, adolescents and older familiy members on this manner everyday.
You know the messages, such as “But I’m your brother” or “Of all the things I do for you!” These statements have power and are born of a blatant disregard for the personal needs of the person being targeted. Children are especially vulnerable to these kinds of hooks.
I take this very seriously, not only because it was a crippling part of my earlier life but because it erodes on productivity and potential in quite a few people. There is a role-play activity which can be used to help the person build an anchor and maintain resolve in the middle of all the family and freinds bull.
It’s called “My price” and the whole thing is based upon very practical facts. If I put my time, sweat, money and effort into a widget or service, then I am going to price it accordingly. My price is part of my personal goals. To let anyone overrun and violate this is the equivalent to my own action of flushing my money, time and effort down the toilet.